I never really know how to answer that questions. If I want to stop the conversation I say something like "I didn't decide to-God made me" Kind of like the response "I prayed about it" ends anyone from questioning a decision that is made. It helps if I answer with my best Big Pastor voice, which is a cross between Billy Graham and Charlton Heston.
I can't say that from a young age I knew I was called to be a pastor. I have always kind of envied those kind of stories. I was privileged to grow up in a home where full time christian service was very common with 4 of my aunts and uncles being missionaries. It was not a way of life that was deemed unusual or "out of reach" for us as a children. I was involved in ministry from a young age- teaching Sunday School to elementary age kids while in high school and being a leader of youth groups while in high school- but didn't look at it as a "preparation" for my future career. I just did it. But I do believed that God used those events like he does with all of us.
It was while I was at bible school in the Pacific North West that I sensed a call into the ministry- initially thinking that it was into cross cultural mission work, probably in Bible translation work. I just sensed that God wanted me to tell others about Jesus. No lighting bolt. No scary dream in the night. Just felt that God wanted me to do this.
So I committed myself to getting a bachelors degree and then while I was trying to determine what seminary I was going to attend Karen and I had the opportunity to go to Nigeria for 2 years and be houseparents. It was while visiting the Lutheran Brethren missionaries in Chad and Cameroon that I came to decide to attend the LB seminary in Fergus Falls and prepare to be a pastor in the Lutheran Brethren Church- which was my home tribe- the church I had grown up in. I have now been in this church family as a pastor for 21 years. I am slowly moving into the "older pastor" division. There is plenty of guys that are younger than me. That is okay. Just different.
Being a pastor is an odd assortment of things. My first calling (as it is for all followers of Jesus) is to be a faithful follower of Jesus. I also am called by the church to preach the gospel and administer the sacraments- baptism and the Lord's Supper. This does not make me holy (Jesus does that), but I do have an important calling. The Gospel is what makes it important- not me or my personality- for I will one day be gone and Christ's church will continue. God has used very inglorious means in the past to communicate his word- (Balaams donkey), and now he uses broken, plain vessels to communicate the only message that can save people, the Good News of salvation in Jesus. That is what a pastor is for. If he misses that he has missed his primary calling.
There is no doubt that a pastor also has to lead the church- a shepherd leads. Sometimes prodding, sometimes healing, sometimes with kindness, sometimes with rebuke. Leading sheep is messy business. Especially when wild range sheep join the flock. I don't know if there is such a thing- but I think you get the drift. The gospel message does not always change lives in an instant. The usual way is through the long process of repentance and faith, conviction of sin and the message of the redemption of the cross. Sometimes leading sheep can be messy. This to is gospel work.
Some folks want to turn the pastor into someone who blesses everyone's efforts at being good. As if my first calling is to make everyone feel more religous thoughts, or feel better about themselves psychologically. Or others feel my first priority is to be liked by everyone. A rabbit trail that can lead to despair in a hurry, or to mushy sermons that leave one feeling like you have just eaten a big bowl of theological marshmallows, full but not feed and in need of a nap.
So how do I know that God wanted me to be a pastor? I think God lead me to this. Now I don't trust those interior motivations very much. I think our sinful nature is way to sneaky. It could be pride using a good thing (preaching), in a bad way(selfish ambition).
We need the church to help us in our shared life. The church confirmed my interior sense of call by calling me to preach. There will come a day when I will not be preaching at my current church. That will be okay. I will need the church to help know that time. I will still be called to follow Jesus, just as I am called to follow him today. For now I have the great honor of calling others to follow him today by proclaiming the good news of Jesus.
