About 4 years ago I wrote this document- as I reflect on it.. I see that it may be better entitled

 " Worthwhile goals for my life"                in it's unedited version......  

My vision for my girls….  – What I pray that God will bring to them in their husband. [and what my boys will be for their wives!] 

First draft- Nov  5, 2008

1. I desire that first and foremost that they marry men who will be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. That there life would be centered on knowing Jesus and making him known to others. That they would see their life as a gift to be lived for the glory of God- to use their talents and abilities to serve others.
2. They will be church- men.  They will not give into the popular North American cultural understanding of  Jesus and Me- and church as optional. But rather will follow the biblical view of the Christian life as lived in community with others in  a body/ house/ family/ temple and will give themselves to a local expression of Christ’s church.
3. That their main spiritual orientation would be one of grace and forgiveness. That they would know the riches of  God’s grace in their own soul and give it to others around them (family!)
4. That they would honor and love family.  Their own parents and siblings, Karen and I and our family,  but most of all that they would put their wife and children above their other earthly relationships.  That they would “leave father and mother and cleave to their wife- and become one flesh”
5. That they would be men of integrity.  That they would keep their promises. They would realize that their word is all that they have and will keep it at great personal cost to themselves.
6. That they would be men who will care for their wife and children and lead them with a servant spirit.  Not men without chests- but men who will lead by the force of their character and Godly example. They will be willing to put others ahead of themselves with a servant heart.
7. They will be men who will work.  They will not be afraid to get their hands dirty or do any kind of work that serves another- no matter how menial or culturally unacceptable it may be deemed.  They will not give into a spirit of laziness or sloth. This applies to all their vocations-  home, family, church, and job.
8. They would be men who exhibit a spirit of joy.  The basic tenor of their spirit will be hopeful and positive – rather than discouraging and despairing.
9. That they would be men of humble spirit.  That they would be quick to acknowledge their wrongdoing, and slow to point out the failings of others. That they would not be threatened by being found out that they were wrong- but see it as a chance to experience grace once again.  They would exhibit a life long love of learning and assume a posture of humble learning through out their life.
10. That they would be men who has a sense of humor and can lighten the load of others with life giving humor.

 I  write a short piece for the bulletin at my home church- Bethel Lutheran, this is what will appear this coming Sunday....

I love the movie “Chariots of Fire”.   The story of Eric Liddell’s 1924’s Olympic experience grabs at your heart and doesn’t let go.  Eric Liddell is to run the 100 meter sprint but refuses to participate in his heat due to the race occurring on Sunday, which he felt was a breaking of the Sabbath.  He withdrew from the race.  He went to worship that day and preached on Isaiah 40 “they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength”.  

            We may dismiss this story as a quaint testimony from a by-gone time.  Please don’t.  Every generation, every family, needs to come to terms with these questions.  Whose drum beat are we marching to?  Who is leading this family?  If our government tells us how to worship will we obey?  If our friends make it uncomfortable for us will we continue to follow Jesus?  If our traveling team takes us away from corporate worship will we forgo gathering with our church family?   

            I cannot answer for you or your family.  I know that drift and apathy are natural to our soul.  We feel its pull, much like the constant current in a river that looks smooth, we can easily find ourselves pulled along by unseen forces.  Play the “what if” game.  Propose scenarios to your family and ask them what they will do and why.  Point one another to a gospel based response. “God, who rescued us, calls us to follow him- how do we live in line with His call?”  

Bras on Broadway

It definitely gets your attention. Nothing like a few hundred bra's hanging from a building that garners ones attention. The Hotel Donaldson in downtown Fargo is the host facility for an event called "Bras On Broadway"



It is an event  for raising support for the fight against cancer, a noble and honorable cause indeed. I can appreciate the cause - I do wonder what the method of fund raising says about the world that we live in . Let me say from the get go 2 things.

1. I hate cancer. It is part of the havoc that is in our world due to the fallen nature of our world. It takes many lives and should be fought against.

2. I love God's creation. All of it. God has created us male and female. He created each unique and beautiful. God also created the means for human kind to create more humans- and this is also good when used as God intended. So my thoughts on the bra's displayed is not due to thinking that "sex is bad and we must not talk about it " view of life. Quite on the contrary, I think it is one of God's better ideas. Really!

I have become aware of this event in a slightly different way because the Hotel Donaldson is across the street from the abortion clinic in downtown Fargo.  I have written before about my experience at the Red River Women's Clinic (abortion clinic- see pic below) in downtown Fargo. I have been involved in the 40 Days for Life ( click here for info ) peaceful protest against abortion for the last 3 years during the fall of the year. I go with others and we stand and pray and  show a peaceful prayerful presence outside of the abortion clinic.     It is a way to say that this great evil should not be happening.

In many ways these events have things in common- we both are working for the good of others. But it is more complicated than that. One also needs to think about the fact that the ends doesn't justify the means when it comes to noble causes. Some pro-life people have gotten this confused in the past and have justified behaviors that are wrong (harming those that disagree with us) in light of the evil of abortion. This is where I am troubled by the bra display. I agree with the goal- just think the means is wrong.

I believe that one of the things our society is putting at the center of it's world is sex. We have to live for something- and as people reject the truth of God they scramble to fill it. Pleasure is something that can quickly step into the gap when God is ignored/ dismissed. When you talk of pleasure- sex is one of the first things that comes to mind. Along with the worship of the god of sex and pleasure comes a loss of modesty.
The progression goes like this: 1. Sex is good. (true!) 2. All consensual sex is good (not true.) 3. Anything that celebrates, enables, and encourages more sex is good (not true) .

This is where I see the connection between the two- Bras on Broadway and the abortion clinic. Both are by-products of a culture that is sex centered.  The abortion facility is trying to remove the God given result of sex, a beautiful creation of God- a baby. The other is using our society's fixation on breasts and sex to raise money for a good cause.  The truth is there is another way... 

Now I am not going to picket the Bra's on Broadway event.  The two events do not compare in what is happening. Abortion is the taking of an innocent life. I believe that justice demands that we speak against this great evil.  The bra's displayed are simply immodest.  I do believe they are related in that  they both stem from a world view that puts man at it's center and glorifies sex as the supreme good of our existence. 

The solution is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am the one who needs the gospel. I am the one who experiences the pull of the world on my own soul.  Our church needs it daily. It is what my kids need.  Jesus has come to bring us into a relationship of faith with the Father. His work will enable us to experience all that he has for us in the way that he made it to be used. That will be a blessing and joy for us and will bring glory to God as well.

I went to the opening rally for the 40 Days for Life Campaign  (click here for more info) last Wed in downtown Fargo at the Red River Womens Clinic.   I have been involved in this cause the last 3 years. The topic of abortion is one of those that is difficult to speak of publicly.  I have been more courageous in speaking and acting about this in the last few years because of hearing the stories of 5 women who have had an abortion themselves.  These 5 women, who call themselves PALS ( Post Abortive Ladies Click here for more info)  speak about the deception and lies that lead them to the life ending decision to take the life of their child. They also spoke of the journey of self hatred and guilt that this decision led them down.  They also testified of the grace and mercy of Jesus that they have embraced, and been embraced by.  It is an amazingly powerful thing to hear.
       This last Wed morning  about 100 people gathered to pray and sing and listen to pastors speak about the importance of changing hearts and speaking for those who cannot.  A pro- choice protester  had a sign that read  "All Christians are not like this"  trying to paint pro- life people as being bigoted, hateful towards women, etc.   So often that is how the conversation gets framed.  If you are for protecting unborn life you are against the woman who carries the child.  How unfortunate.   As I heard these 5 women speak about the shame and guilt they carried for years as a result of their abortion, it causes me to want to speak up, for the baby and the mother.... and the dad.... and society...
      Jesus said to love our neighbor, the woman with an unplanned pregnancy needs our love and support and help. The baby she carries needs our love and support and help.  They are both precious to our Father and to us.  Satan  is the father of lies. I know I am meeting people every week who carry the burden of an abortion.  I long for them to be free. That they would know that Jesus is for them and that the price for their transgression is covered by Jesus life and death.
     We are people of the cross.  We call a thing what it is.  Sin hurts, it kills us, we kill one another.  We are far from the garden that God originally placed us in. We need life, we need forgiveness, we need mercy.  The cross is our only hope.   Both those who speak for life in front of the clinic, and those who advocate for the choice of death need the life giving grace of Jesus.  "He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."
So we speak for those who cannot. Justice requires it.  These children who are put to death with their mothers consent should have someone speaking for them.   But we  do so knowing that we deserve to die but do not simply because we have been embraced by the Savior who saves and gives life to dead people like me.

AGE HAPPENS

I just passed the day of my birth.  What did I do to deserve being born? Nada. Nothing.  So it is odd that we sometimes act like we are really something on our birthday, when the reality is our mom did all the work.  Okay, our dads had something to do with it a few months before our birth, but that is another topic for another blog.  I remember an episode from Everybody loves Raymond when Ray thanks his mother for pushing, otherwise he would be still in her womb. He always made me laugh. 

 I do wish my mom was here to thank for giving me life.  She died when I was 11.  I thought about her again the other day when I saw a picture of her 3 older sisters who are now a combined 286 years old.  

They are beautiful women who have been the picture of grace down through the years.  The picture of their hands grasping each other speaks volumes.  They are people that love openly and easily.  This is how they lived their entire life.  They hold life with open hands.  Not demanding.   Joy and grace is part of their DNA as they have allowed Jesus to be the center of their being. When they wake up in the morning, Satan says, "oh crap...."   Aunties Thea and Marge were both career missionaries, Cece was a faithful farm wife, like my mom. Cece is the oldest sister in their family, my mother was the youngest and died first.  Cece now longs to go home to be with Jesus. Her body is tired and frail, she is easily confused and life is hard.  It is one of the mysteries of life that she is living so long and desires to depart to be with her savior, while my mother was so young (42) when she died and was such a shock and tragedy.  It is one of those things that still causes sadness in my soul.  I wish she could have been there the other day with them, holding hands.  I anticipate the day when I will get to witness these sisters and my mom experiencing a grand reunion with one another and their Savior Jesus that they love so excellently. It makes me long for heaven.  I want to be there with people like them.  I am so grateful that Jesus has promised that I can go there. He will have a place for me ready.  I am glad. I have lived almost 10 years longer here on earth than my mom did.  It is all just a blink in comparison to eternity.

Heaven is not the 2nd best alternative. It is the believers home. Why do I so often live like I am going to be here forever? 

Like a puppy caught chewing his masters slippers, I enter my site to blog again. I had such good plans to write often. I failed.  So I start again.   Grace empowers to start anew.  Morning by morning new mercies I see. 
      So much has happened since I last wrote. I have accepted a new call to a new church family.  It was a process of self evaluation and praying, thinking and talking with others.  It was a painful decision to leave a church family that I loved and was loved by, and was our home for the last 12 years. The new call fit with my passions and vision for ministry. The Lord seemed to lead.  The church called me. I said yes.  
 Now we are in the process of planting ourselves among the people that God has placed us.  
       One of the things that have struck me in this process is the leaving of our home in Barnesville, was how quickly the place we called home did not feel like home.  When all the things that made our home a home: the furniture, decorations, personal items that belonged to us were gone,  it felt empty, hollow.   There was a profound sadness and sense of loss that came over me. It was kind of like the 12 years of life lived there was somehow gone or lost.  Obviously that was not true.  We have the memories and the pictures, but we can never go back to that house and relive those memories. Having moved a number of times in the last 30 years (11), I have experienced this before. This time was different in that we had lived 12 years in the same house/ town.  I feel bad that my kids will not be able to go back to that house again and experience it with their kids. Like both my wife and I have been able to do with our kids. 
     The feeling of belonging, of home, is an interesting one.  We live in a society that has people moving often. Very, very, few people live in the same home, or community for most of their life. But it is a common question asked of one another.. "where did you grow up?"  "where do you consider home?" I think that longing for a home, that is never quite satisfied,  is indicative of the reality that we are made for another home. It is also true that those people who seem to be the most at home here in this life, are those who have had their soul most gripped by the temporary nature of their address here on this big ball. Those who believe that this world holds the answers to our longing for a home are the least at home. This world can't stand up to that weight. When we see our homes here as temporary - which they are- then they are free to be what they are- places that nomads gather for rest and eating and joy and grace and solitude and gathering, not our permanent home. 
So now we live in a new home. New memories are being made. My two boys will have a hard time remembering our home in Barnesville.  My hope is that this home will be a place of joy and laughter, a place of refuge and peace for them and others to come to. It is a lovely home. But it will one day be moved out of again. It is temporary.  We are made to find our home in God our Father. Our homes will prepare us for that if we let them do their work in our lives.  God is good to give us chances to learn that He is our home.  We will be restless till we find our home in him. 

"How did you decide to become a pastor?"

I never really know how to answer that questions. If I want to stop the conversation I say something like "I didn't decide to-God made me"  Kind of like the response "I prayed about it" ends anyone from questioning a decision that is made.  It helps if I answer with my best Big Pastor voice, which is a cross between Billy Graham and Charlton Heston.


I can't say that from a young age I knew I was called to be a pastor.  I have always kind of envied those kind of stories.  I was privileged to grow up in a home where full time christian service was very common with 4 of my aunts and uncles being missionaries.  It was not a way of life that was deemed unusual or "out of reach" for us as a children.  I was involved in ministry from a young age- teaching Sunday School to elementary age kids while in high school and being a leader of youth groups while in high school- but didn't look at it as a "preparation" for my future career.  I just did it.  But I do believed that God used those events like he does with all of us.


It was while I was at bible school in the Pacific North West that I sensed a call into the ministry- initially thinking that it was into cross cultural mission work, probably in Bible translation work.  I just sensed that God wanted me to tell others about Jesus.  No lighting bolt. No scary dream in the night. Just felt that God wanted me to do this.


So I committed myself to getting a bachelors degree and then while I was trying to determine what seminary I was going to attend Karen and I had the opportunity to go to Nigeria for 2 years and be houseparents.  It was while visiting the Lutheran Brethren missionaries in Chad and Cameroon that I came to decide to attend the LB seminary in Fergus Falls and prepare to be a pastor in the Lutheran Brethren Church- which was my home tribe- the church I had grown up in.  I have now been in this church family as a pastor for 21 years. I am slowly moving into the "older pastor" division.  There is plenty of guys that are younger than me. That is okay. Just different.


Being a pastor is an odd assortment of things.  My first calling (as it is for all followers of Jesus) is to be a faithful follower of Jesus.  I also am called by the church to preach the gospel and administer the sacraments- baptism and the Lord's Supper.  This does not make me holy (Jesus does that), but I do have an important calling.  The Gospel is what makes it important- not me or my personality- for I will one day be gone and Christ's church will continue.   God has used very inglorious means in the past to communicate his word- (Balaams donkey),  and now he uses broken, plain vessels to communicate the only message that can save people, the Good News of salvation in Jesus.  That is what a pastor is for.  If he misses that he has missed his primary calling.


There is no doubt that a pastor also has to lead the church- a shepherd leads.  Sometimes prodding, sometimes healing, sometimes with kindness, sometimes with rebuke. Leading sheep is messy business.  Especially when wild range sheep join the flock.  I don't know if there is such a thing- but I think you get the drift.  The gospel message does not always change lives in an instant. The usual way is through the long process of repentance and faith,  conviction of sin and the message of the redemption of the cross.  Sometimes leading sheep can be messy.  This to is gospel work.


Some folks want to turn the pastor into someone who blesses everyone's efforts at being good.  As if my first calling is to make everyone feel more religous thoughts, or feel better about themselves psychologically.  Or others feel my first priority is to be liked by everyone.  A rabbit trail that can lead to despair in a hurry, or to mushy sermons that leave one feeling like you have just eaten a big bowl of  theological marshmallows,  full but not feed and in need of a nap. 


So how do I know that God wanted me to be a pastor?  I think God lead me to this. Now I don't trust those interior motivations very much. I think our sinful nature is way to sneaky. It could be pride using a good thing (preaching),  in a bad way(selfish ambition).


We need the church to help us in our shared life.   The church confirmed my interior sense of call by calling me to preach.  There will come a day when I will not be preaching at my current church.  That will be okay.  I will need the church to help know that time.  I will still be called to follow Jesus, just as I am called to follow him today.  For now I have the great honor of calling others to follow him today by proclaiming the good news of Jesus.