"How did you decide to become a pastor?"

I never really know how to answer that questions. If I want to stop the conversation I say something like "I didn't decide to-God made me"  Kind of like the response "I prayed about it" ends anyone from questioning a decision that is made.  It helps if I answer with my best Big Pastor voice, which is a cross between Billy Graham and Charlton Heston.


I can't say that from a young age I knew I was called to be a pastor.  I have always kind of envied those kind of stories.  I was privileged to grow up in a home where full time christian service was very common with 4 of my aunts and uncles being missionaries.  It was not a way of life that was deemed unusual or "out of reach" for us as a children.  I was involved in ministry from a young age- teaching Sunday School to elementary age kids while in high school and being a leader of youth groups while in high school- but didn't look at it as a "preparation" for my future career.  I just did it.  But I do believed that God used those events like he does with all of us.


It was while I was at bible school in the Pacific North West that I sensed a call into the ministry- initially thinking that it was into cross cultural mission work, probably in Bible translation work.  I just sensed that God wanted me to tell others about Jesus.  No lighting bolt. No scary dream in the night. Just felt that God wanted me to do this.


So I committed myself to getting a bachelors degree and then while I was trying to determine what seminary I was going to attend Karen and I had the opportunity to go to Nigeria for 2 years and be houseparents.  It was while visiting the Lutheran Brethren missionaries in Chad and Cameroon that I came to decide to attend the LB seminary in Fergus Falls and prepare to be a pastor in the Lutheran Brethren Church- which was my home tribe- the church I had grown up in.  I have now been in this church family as a pastor for 21 years. I am slowly moving into the "older pastor" division.  There is plenty of guys that are younger than me. That is okay. Just different.


Being a pastor is an odd assortment of things.  My first calling (as it is for all followers of Jesus) is to be a faithful follower of Jesus.  I also am called by the church to preach the gospel and administer the sacraments- baptism and the Lord's Supper.  This does not make me holy (Jesus does that), but I do have an important calling.  The Gospel is what makes it important- not me or my personality- for I will one day be gone and Christ's church will continue.   God has used very inglorious means in the past to communicate his word- (Balaams donkey),  and now he uses broken, plain vessels to communicate the only message that can save people, the Good News of salvation in Jesus.  That is what a pastor is for.  If he misses that he has missed his primary calling.


There is no doubt that a pastor also has to lead the church- a shepherd leads.  Sometimes prodding, sometimes healing, sometimes with kindness, sometimes with rebuke. Leading sheep is messy business.  Especially when wild range sheep join the flock.  I don't know if there is such a thing- but I think you get the drift.  The gospel message does not always change lives in an instant. The usual way is through the long process of repentance and faith,  conviction of sin and the message of the redemption of the cross.  Sometimes leading sheep can be messy.  This to is gospel work.


Some folks want to turn the pastor into someone who blesses everyone's efforts at being good.  As if my first calling is to make everyone feel more religous thoughts, or feel better about themselves psychologically.  Or others feel my first priority is to be liked by everyone.  A rabbit trail that can lead to despair in a hurry, or to mushy sermons that leave one feeling like you have just eaten a big bowl of  theological marshmallows,  full but not feed and in need of a nap. 


So how do I know that God wanted me to be a pastor?  I think God lead me to this. Now I don't trust those interior motivations very much. I think our sinful nature is way to sneaky. It could be pride using a good thing (preaching),  in a bad way(selfish ambition).


We need the church to help us in our shared life.   The church confirmed my interior sense of call by calling me to preach.  There will come a day when I will not be preaching at my current church.  That will be okay.  I will need the church to help know that time.  I will still be called to follow Jesus, just as I am called to follow him today.  For now I have the great honor of calling others to follow him today by proclaiming the good news of Jesus. 

Sin Management

Sometimes as a parent it can feel like I am like the mythical boy in Holland who plugged the hole in the dike in order to save his country from a flood. I am just barely holding back the onslaught.  One minute we are telling a boy not to hit the other boy, the next minute we are encouraging an older daughter to use kind words when instructing,  then we are teaching a boy not to hit back when he is hit.  Then we have to remind a child to say please, then we have to remind everyone, including the kids, to listen to one another when someone else is speaking.  Oh yes, and by the way, Be more joyful! Don't you realize there are kids way less fortunate than you, (someplace) ?   and don't forget to tell mom thanks for supper... it goes on and on.  
This is not going to be another blog telling you to hug your kids more.  There are enough of those- I think the main thing that our kids need to know is what to do with what is wrong with their soul. Sin needs more than management or improvement- it needs forgiveness,  it needs justice, it needs to be dealt with.  It needs to be called what it is. It ruins everything.  It spoils us- makes us rotten, it ruins relationships- and then we become really good at blaming others for what is our mess. Who will help us? 
Our kids, my family I, need to grasp how desperately we need to be forgiven and how I will use any advantage I can to try to shape the world around me to my liking, rather than seeing my place in the world as God's bondservant and other people as my neighbor God calls me to serve. There is always a reason why they should serve Me, why they are more guilty, or not as spiritual, etc.  
     The incarnation of our Lord- the one who humbled himself and became a servant of all- in order to free us from our bondage of self serving, self justifying, self defending hearts, is what my kids (I) need. They need to know that Jesus has come for them.   
So we will keep pointing out their sin.  We will keep teaching. We must. It is our calling. We also get to teach about and model by our own repentance  and love of The Remedy for our sinful hearts. Jesus.  The one who is full of grace and truth.  The boy in the manger who is the Savior of the World. 
     

PM Notes: Virtue To Grace: Why The Converted Need To Be Converted!

PM Notes: Virtue To Grace: Why The Converted Need To Be Converted!

blog name...

"Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom"  ( Ps 90:12)  

     I have heard my father comment on this psalm and he has made the astute observation that we should only count to one when it comes to numbering our days.  I like that.  So I named the blog numbering the days. One of the times I heard my father speak about numbering our days is in regards to the brevity of life, something that he knows keenly as twice he has had the tragedy of  grieving the death of his wife.  Both my mother Audrey in 1973, and then 17 years later my stepmother Ruth passed away suddenly.  Both were deaths with no warning, both women started out that morning with their usual busy active life, both days ended with people gathering together to grieve.   Life is short. We do not know the number of our days. It is good to be reminded of that.  Count to one.
     I also realize that my story is unusual, most of us will most likely live to reach a ripe old age (though I have found that number changes).  The reality is that the one who lives most ready to die at any time is the one who lives the best. The one who understands that they at any time could be called to give an account of their life is more likely to embrace their need of a Savior whether they are 8 or 80. Ignore death and we ignore our need of a Savior.  The provision of Jesus as our advocate and as the one who bore the punishment of our sin becomes dear to the one who lives with the reality of their own impending death and their own failure to live up to the standard we were designed to live up to.  
     "That we may get a heart of wisdom"   the second part of the verse says.  Jesus is the word of God made flesh.  He is wisdom in a sweater.  He is for us. He is our answer when we stand before the One on the day of reckoning.  He calls us to follow Him, to worship Him in the manger as he makes His way to the cross. 

A New Day...

So I like to read what other people have to say about things.  It is liking having a conversation with someone.  I also like to write from time to time about different things.  A number of different things have brought me to the place that I thought I should start a blog of my own. So here goes!
Today is an exciting day for our family my oldest daughter Danae Moran, is graduating from college with her bachelors degree in Social Work.  She has worked hard for the last few years and I am proud of her diligence and perseverance.  As proud I am of her and this accomplishment- I am much prouder of her wisdom and heart for the things of God. That will enable her to use this tool in ways that serves others.  She has a short term full time job at Catholic Charities working in their adoption program as one of their staff has an educational leave for 3 months.  She just finished her internship there a few days ago.   She passed her Social Work test so upon her graduation will be a LSW in North Dakota.
 I don't think that everyone should go to college, even though our society has set itself up in such a way that it does open doors for you if you do.  I know that a college degree doesn't guarantee that you are intelligent or wise- I know folks who have college degrees that are not.  I also know folks who are very wise due to the fact that they are self taught, have a hunger for knowledge and realize that it is all a gift from God.  The scriptures say that the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom".   The fear of the Lord is about humility.  Realizing that all we are and have is a gift from God and we are the stewards of those gifts.  The fear of the Lord also means that we realize that we answer to God for our life. This should cause us to stop and reflect.  It should also drive us to the Lord for grace and mercy as we realize that we fall short of His standards.  I am so glad that the Lord has provided a Redeemer for me. I am reminded of the words "today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you" (Luke 2:11)  .  A Savior.  A savior is for people that need saving.  I need to be saved. Today.  Danae needs saving. No matter how many letters we have in front of, or behind our names.  I am so grateful that she knows that. I am amazed that I know that. I know that sometime today I will forget that and act like I don't need saving and everyone else does.  Pride is never killed- just asleep for awhile. So glad the Savior will come to me again.