I went to the opening rally for the 40 Days for Life Campaign  (click here for more info) last Wed in downtown Fargo at the Red River Womens Clinic.   I have been involved in this cause the last 3 years. The topic of abortion is one of those that is difficult to speak of publicly.  I have been more courageous in speaking and acting about this in the last few years because of hearing the stories of 5 women who have had an abortion themselves.  These 5 women, who call themselves PALS ( Post Abortive Ladies Click here for more info)  speak about the deception and lies that lead them to the life ending decision to take the life of their child. They also spoke of the journey of self hatred and guilt that this decision led them down.  They also testified of the grace and mercy of Jesus that they have embraced, and been embraced by.  It is an amazingly powerful thing to hear.
       This last Wed morning  about 100 people gathered to pray and sing and listen to pastors speak about the importance of changing hearts and speaking for those who cannot.  A pro- choice protester  had a sign that read  "All Christians are not like this"  trying to paint pro- life people as being bigoted, hateful towards women, etc.   So often that is how the conversation gets framed.  If you are for protecting unborn life you are against the woman who carries the child.  How unfortunate.   As I heard these 5 women speak about the shame and guilt they carried for years as a result of their abortion, it causes me to want to speak up, for the baby and the mother.... and the dad.... and society...
      Jesus said to love our neighbor, the woman with an unplanned pregnancy needs our love and support and help. The baby she carries needs our love and support and help.  They are both precious to our Father and to us.  Satan  is the father of lies. I know I am meeting people every week who carry the burden of an abortion.  I long for them to be free. That they would know that Jesus is for them and that the price for their transgression is covered by Jesus life and death.
     We are people of the cross.  We call a thing what it is.  Sin hurts, it kills us, we kill one another.  We are far from the garden that God originally placed us in. We need life, we need forgiveness, we need mercy.  The cross is our only hope.   Both those who speak for life in front of the clinic, and those who advocate for the choice of death need the life giving grace of Jesus.  "He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."
So we speak for those who cannot. Justice requires it.  These children who are put to death with their mothers consent should have someone speaking for them.   But we  do so knowing that we deserve to die but do not simply because we have been embraced by the Savior who saves and gives life to dead people like me.

AGE HAPPENS

I just passed the day of my birth.  What did I do to deserve being born? Nada. Nothing.  So it is odd that we sometimes act like we are really something on our birthday, when the reality is our mom did all the work.  Okay, our dads had something to do with it a few months before our birth, but that is another topic for another blog.  I remember an episode from Everybody loves Raymond when Ray thanks his mother for pushing, otherwise he would be still in her womb. He always made me laugh. 

 I do wish my mom was here to thank for giving me life.  She died when I was 11.  I thought about her again the other day when I saw a picture of her 3 older sisters who are now a combined 286 years old.  

They are beautiful women who have been the picture of grace down through the years.  The picture of their hands grasping each other speaks volumes.  They are people that love openly and easily.  This is how they lived their entire life.  They hold life with open hands.  Not demanding.   Joy and grace is part of their DNA as they have allowed Jesus to be the center of their being. When they wake up in the morning, Satan says, "oh crap...."   Aunties Thea and Marge were both career missionaries, Cece was a faithful farm wife, like my mom. Cece is the oldest sister in their family, my mother was the youngest and died first.  Cece now longs to go home to be with Jesus. Her body is tired and frail, she is easily confused and life is hard.  It is one of the mysteries of life that she is living so long and desires to depart to be with her savior, while my mother was so young (42) when she died and was such a shock and tragedy.  It is one of those things that still causes sadness in my soul.  I wish she could have been there the other day with them, holding hands.  I anticipate the day when I will get to witness these sisters and my mom experiencing a grand reunion with one another and their Savior Jesus that they love so excellently. It makes me long for heaven.  I want to be there with people like them.  I am so grateful that Jesus has promised that I can go there. He will have a place for me ready.  I am glad. I have lived almost 10 years longer here on earth than my mom did.  It is all just a blink in comparison to eternity.

Heaven is not the 2nd best alternative. It is the believers home. Why do I so often live like I am going to be here forever? 

Like a puppy caught chewing his masters slippers, I enter my site to blog again. I had such good plans to write often. I failed.  So I start again.   Grace empowers to start anew.  Morning by morning new mercies I see. 
      So much has happened since I last wrote. I have accepted a new call to a new church family.  It was a process of self evaluation and praying, thinking and talking with others.  It was a painful decision to leave a church family that I loved and was loved by, and was our home for the last 12 years. The new call fit with my passions and vision for ministry. The Lord seemed to lead.  The church called me. I said yes.  
 Now we are in the process of planting ourselves among the people that God has placed us.  
       One of the things that have struck me in this process is the leaving of our home in Barnesville, was how quickly the place we called home did not feel like home.  When all the things that made our home a home: the furniture, decorations, personal items that belonged to us were gone,  it felt empty, hollow.   There was a profound sadness and sense of loss that came over me. It was kind of like the 12 years of life lived there was somehow gone or lost.  Obviously that was not true.  We have the memories and the pictures, but we can never go back to that house and relive those memories. Having moved a number of times in the last 30 years (11), I have experienced this before. This time was different in that we had lived 12 years in the same house/ town.  I feel bad that my kids will not be able to go back to that house again and experience it with their kids. Like both my wife and I have been able to do with our kids. 
     The feeling of belonging, of home, is an interesting one.  We live in a society that has people moving often. Very, very, few people live in the same home, or community for most of their life. But it is a common question asked of one another.. "where did you grow up?"  "where do you consider home?" I think that longing for a home, that is never quite satisfied,  is indicative of the reality that we are made for another home. It is also true that those people who seem to be the most at home here in this life, are those who have had their soul most gripped by the temporary nature of their address here on this big ball. Those who believe that this world holds the answers to our longing for a home are the least at home. This world can't stand up to that weight. When we see our homes here as temporary - which they are- then they are free to be what they are- places that nomads gather for rest and eating and joy and grace and solitude and gathering, not our permanent home. 
So now we live in a new home. New memories are being made. My two boys will have a hard time remembering our home in Barnesville.  My hope is that this home will be a place of joy and laughter, a place of refuge and peace for them and others to come to. It is a lovely home. But it will one day be moved out of again. It is temporary.  We are made to find our home in God our Father. Our homes will prepare us for that if we let them do their work in our lives.  God is good to give us chances to learn that He is our home.  We will be restless till we find our home in him.